Helping you free your child of an eating disorder
Today, I am summarising some statistics for you.
Each of these statistics represents someone who might be enjoying a full life right now if they had received early diagnosis and evidence-based treatment. I sincerely hope that in ten years’ time the statistics will be very different.
The suicide risk is several times higher among those with an eating disorder.
The following eye-catching charts say it all.
A fair share of the horror stories I hear come from England. So how wonderful is it that NHS England has issued the most well-informed, high-standard instructions we could wish for.
And no wonder. It was written by some of our top experts. And it is actually now government policy!
It’s all in a 102-page document entitled “Access and Waiting Time Standard for Children and Young People with an Eating Disorder. Commissioning Guide” which I’ll summarise for you here in plain language. This is truly great stuff AND there’s money behind it too.
For those of us not in England, this is a model worth copying.
Video resources I have found very helpful to build me up fast when I’ve been knocked down. Later I developed my own resources (available on this website), especially for parents in our situation.
Thanks to the many contributors to my book.
The essentials for a parent who wants immediate answers: what are the main principles of the treatments covered in this book, and how long before you can expect some relief?
This is Chapter 4 of my book.
Teamwork between parents and teachers helps children with eating disorders benefit from school.
I imagine that staff in schools all over the world have a desire to contribute to a child and a family’s wellbeing. If this is not what you’re seeing, the key to removing obstacles is communication. Engage key teachers in understanding the issues and priorities for your child. Discuss how they can support her with study, friends and eating.
Of course, it might not be right for your child to be in school at all, and I discuss this in my book.
But let’s assume your child is reasonably well, and would benefit from being in school if the right support was in place.
It’s time for an in-depth discussion with the Head, the relevant teachers and support teachers.
In case you’re feeling stressed, here is a checklist of points you might like to raise.
How common are eating disorders? I haven’t put this in my book, but I’ll give you some figures here in case you need it to convince your school or other authorities that eating disorders are anything but rare and that resources need to be allocated to them.
Does your child act totally out of character when he or she is worried about food? Have you been screamed at, or kicked? Have you had a plate of pasta tipped onto your lap in a restaurant? Has your child run away?
After a highly charged event when your child (and perhaps yourself) have been very reactive, you could choose to initiate dialogue. The idea is to take care of yourself (because you’re hurt), your child (because he or she needs safety and understanding) and your relationship. You might also be looking for solutions or agreements so that whatever happened won’t happen again.
Here’s some help to do that.
There are a huge number of psychotherapy methods out there. It’s helpful for us parents to know a little about them, both so we can assess what’s being offered to our kids and so we can find something for ourselves.
In my book I explain how psychotherapy is not a first line of treatment for anorexia in children and adolescents, and how (as in Family-Based Treatment (FBT or ‘Maudsley’) it may not be needed at all. However, it is often offered, and you will have to judge if that is appropriate or not, depending on the stage your child is at in treatment, or depending on what you’re needing for yourself.
I’ll share what I know about some of the methods, and hope it helps you in your own search.
Many psychotherapists’ training places great importance in finding the ‘underlying causes’ of patients’ problems. If their approach is relational or psychodynamic (founded on psychoanalysis), their model is that in order to get better, the patient needs insight: ‘What caused my problem?’ And if you ignore causes, even causes from your earliest childhood, your problems will spill out in other domains.
For a clinical psychologist who hasn’t specialised in eating disorders, it is counter-intuitive to ignore early childhood or family dynamics.