It helps you help your child to eat
- "When I discovered your book, we were in a very difficult place. Our care team had been talking about in-patient treatment and I felt powerless to help and completely hopeless and dismal about my daughter’s future.
Your book was completely transforming, allowing me, through compassion, to have a loving relationship with my daughter through a very difficult process and to help her heal very quickly, without any threats or blame. You truly saved my family and I’m so grateful to you."
- And from Caitlin Moran, bestselling author of 'More than a woman', which includes a very moving account of supporting her daughter through an eating disorder (note that I only have one book):
- Audio testimonial from a parent: "I've got half a dozen other books but it's not what I need… I need someone who's prepared to address the nitty gritty…" and "It's like having a conversation with a wise friend".
- “Within three weeks our daughter has gone from eating nothing but a couple of small pieces of fruit per day to eating on six occasions each day, with three meals and three snacks. And she has even started to eat spontaneously without prompting. This is down to all the information in your book which gave us the confidence to do something which, at the time felt to be quite radical and a bit scary.”
- "If you are at the start of your journey with your child you are extremely lucky to have found this book. It should be given to every parent at the very first sign of concern when you approach GP, CAMHS or Paediatrician and signposted by every professional involved with treating eating disorders in children."
- "Finally! I have read anything and everything on anorexia and this is the most helpful by far. "
- "Firstly I have to say that your practical re-feeding scenario's saved us. Until then I knew what we needed to do but did not know how. And it worked for us. Having the words and dialogue to say was what I needed when mother's instinct flies out the window. I also gave my husband all the advice and read out various sections for him as he was on the battle front with the re-feeding."
- "Eva, you taught me how to tackle fear foods and rigidity around fearful eating situations. Because of this book, my child is doing so much better! Get it out there!!!!"
- "It felt like my daughter's anorexia was winning the battle and after almost 3 years I had no strength left to fight it. In desperation I googled ‘How can you get an anorexic to eat?’ and came up with your website. I can't thank you enough for your practical advice and tips, which made total sense to me, and allowed me to begin again with renewed purpose. I have found the bungee jumping analogy and the dialogue scripts particularly helpful, and my daughter has started eating again. It is so good to read advice from someone who knows exactly what we are going through."
- "Your post was instrumental in helping me change tack, connecting with my son and building trust between us. This led to him eating properly for a whole day and gave my wife and I a much needed day away from the front line."
- "I found a book online […] and that's a thing that really really helped us because reading that book I could do something immediately. The book said 'This is what you can do now to help your child". (Sara, mother of a 13-year old, on BBC radio 4 programme 'You and Yours' on 15 March 2016 with Winifred Robinson, 36 min in). The bestselling author Caitlin Moran, during her launch of her book
It helps you improve your connection with your child
- "Most helpful to me has been the bungee cord metaphor and your recommendation to consider what's going on inside me while we sit at the table and she's refusing to eat. This has stopped me so many times from just screaming "Would you JUST EAT!" when she is struggling. It has been the key thing that has permitted me to give her the space and support to work through the block. And she has so far completed every plate of food in front her!"
- "Good news is that since reading your book my husband and I have been the perfect picture of empathy – cool, calm, collected. It works. It absolutely works."
- "Amidst the chaos of those early months the only literature that I found at all useful was your book. I was being advised to be very combative and aggressive with my daughter's eating , but your book gave me the confidence to do things in a gentler way….and she got better , so thank you so much and good luck with the book."
- "My god, the section on helping yourself to stay calm was fantastic! So many things in there resonated with me….especially the chatterbox part… Thank you once again for the book and for the hope you have given me, I am grateful beyond words… I truly believe this book has saved my daughter's life and that is no exaggeration."
- "I was despairing of the 'sledgehammer' approach. What stood out in your book was that kindness could be firm and effective."
- "I just need to tell you that your impact on my life and the life of my kid is immense."
It's emotionally supportive
- "At last a truly inspiring and wonderful piece of work from a parent who really gets it."
- "I cannot tell you how valuable your book as been to me and my 12 yo daughter, diagnosed anorexic just 9 weeks ago here in the US. So often, while sitting in a hospital waiting room, catching 5 minutes before dawn, just before sleeping, etc., I would read a few pages or even lines on my phone, picking up little ideas, getting little encouragement from you and your experiences."
"Eva, I’m learning so much from your book. I’m literally having a life transformation and my heart is bursting with love like I have never felt before. Thank you!!"
- "Thank you for your clear and insightful writing. I came across your draft whilst in the middle of an emotional meltdown, both mine and my daughter's. With your advice, I turned the situation round. Deep breath and hand on heart. I am new to this but learning very fast or trying to."
- "I have to tell you, Eva, your draft has gotten me through some trying times and has totally inspired how we manage this illness. I hope you are shopping it to publishers so it gets out in a large scale."
- "Your manuscript is all that is keeping me going and sane at the moment. My daughter is only 11 and life is hell on earth for all of us at the moment. I'm trying my best and your book is an enormous help."
- "The part about Acceptance is the best explanation of that ever! The counselor we had tried for a year, but the way you are explaining it is much better and less guilt attached; brilliant!
- "Thank you so much Eva. I know we have a long battle ahead of us but each time I get a bit down I read your advice and I'm filled with confidence."
It covers the later stages of recovery too
- "Lately I have returned to your book because you give lots of information on progressing through recovering, returning to school and letting them go out with friends and not wanting mum to be watching over them all the time. Again, there is so little to help you through this time even though its so hard to let go and trust them"
- "We really really can do with these specific skills with actual example of conversations like "giving up on cafes is not a great solution". These are just the practical tips that I need that I feel a lot of books don't address as they are so concerned with getting the kids away from death's door, but as we have discovered that is just a first step."
It provides help that would take you years to collect
- "I feel like I’ll never have to say 'If only knew then what I know now' because I was given the gift of your knowledge and spared from what could have been many additional months, even years, of heartache."
- "Eva is brilliant at keeping her writing up to date and sharing new and effective ways of coping. This is an amazing MUST HAVE book."
- "It is different from all the other books out there – believe me, I have a collection."
- "The biggest gap in Maudsley FBT approach is guidance and examples of what are you going to do today to help battle the disease. The video and article of the bungee jump metaphor are pure gold. You have provided a glimmer of hope that helps clear the fog of despair."
It gives you what you are (maybe) not getting from your therapist
- "I've learned more in the last hour with your website than I have from our twice weekly sessions with the therapist."
It complements what clinicians are giving you
- This book is an absolute life saver! Just in the throws of refeeding and although our therapists are good I find this much more of a practical support at this difficult time.
- Many therapists recommend my book to parents: "I am a clinical psychologist working in a specialist eating disorders team […]. My colleagues and I routinely direct families to your website and (very highly) recommend your book to all the parents […] An extremely helpful and practical adjunct to attending sessions."
It's friendly and easy to read
- "It is though an incredibly well thought out and well written book. Your work has the human touch of someone who has been through what they are writing about. And that helps the advice to come across in a homely and friendly manner. Rather than some great medical theory handed down on tablets of stone from on high."
- "You write very well, I enjoy your scientific no nonsense approach, and your utter, consistent reassurance offered to both patient and parent."
Praise from Laura Collins Lyster-Mensh, founder of F.E.A.S.T
“Parents are starting to understand the WHY and the WHAT they must do when a loved one has a restrictive eating disorder, but Musby does what no one else does: shares the HOW. Parents need solid tools, tips, and problem-solving. Open any page in this book and you’ll find a bit of the hard-won advice that parents around the world are teaching one another.
Read this book to join the growing movement of parents who are saving their sons and daughters' futures and their lives through good information and action."
(Laura Collins Lyster-Mensh, writer and also founder of parents’ online community F.E.A.S.T., activist writer, author of ‘Eating With Your Anorexic’)
26 Replies to “Feedback from parents”
From the bottom of my heart: Thank you Eva for the practical advice and emotional support we desperately needed and you gave us through your book! We hadn't made it through our marathon without it! In case other parents read this, I would like to add that we also found good advice for our long term ill and slightly older daughter in "Skills-based caring for a loved one with an eating disorder – The new Maudsley method", which I think you referred to. Again, thank you for your valuable and thorough research, for openly sharing your own and other's experiences, and for your extraordinary optimism and support! From a Swedish Mom with a now fully recovered daughter in her early twenties.
What a lovely message, dear "Grateful", and I am so very happy that somewhere in Sweden there is a young woman fully enjoying a recovered life!
I wish I had found your book months ago. I have read extensively professional and non professional literature about eating disorders but your book surpasses them all. Every page contains nuggets of valuable facts and you display a competence and humanity which I so wish we had been shown months ago.
Hello Eva, I have been wanting to send a huge thank you for some time now. I bought your book last year when my daughter was first diagnosed and found it the most helpful amongst all the books I have read. I can't thank you enough for sharing all your knowledge, research, insight and lived experience. You are my hero!
After a very difficult patch I returned to your book at the beginning of this year and accessed your meditation audios. I can't begin to say how much they have helped me to help myself and better understand my beautiful daughter. I can sincerely say you have saved me. Big thank yous and big hugs xxx
Big hugs to you, Jo. Thank you for taking the time to write, as what you say is so much what I hope for when I create resources. I'm warmed to think of being with you through this demanding journey. May the sun come out and stay out soon.
This book has hit the nail on the head. Our therapist had shared video's from you (although I had already found them) I referenced the book a few times and she is currently reading it.. It is so inline with what she has been leading us through.. I can't imagine she won't find it a valuable resource.
My daughter just turned 11.. and it is the first reading I have found that starts at that place. We did not go to the hospital.. and are in Family Based Treatment.. but your home experience seems to be at the same place.. sometimes I think you stole my story.. you were in my living room. The book gave us the confidence to turn the corner and start to see weight gain.
Still struggling with getting her to increase amounts and "forbidden food"
I'm so glad my book helped you turn the corner. I hope things are getting better all the time. Thank you so much for writing in!
Hi Eva am a por person i have a daughter with anorexia and my daughter can not receive more atttention, l can have a password to read your book is very interesting and this help me a lot thanks God there are people like you l appreciate it.
Hello dear, I've emailed you.
Eva your book and you tube videos have been absolute life savers to our family. We can't thank you enough you have given us invaluable information and hope at the darkest of times. We were advised by our therapists right at the start of our D illness to read your book. I'm so glad we did you gave us tools and strategies to cope in so many situations. Thankyou.X
Fantastic! Thank you for the feedback. And it's great to hear that your therapists trust my book.
I downloaded your book last night and sat up reading it till I fell asleep at 1 am! I'm only a quarter of the way through it but already I feel differently and much more confident about my ability to help my child through this. I wish I'd heard about it earlier and I will certainly recommend it to our psychologist (who is excellent by the way) for her to recommend to other families. I know we have a long way to go but what I've read so far has helped so much already. Thank you 🙂
Gill, I am really really pleased that you are gaining confidence that you can help your child. Thank you for letting me know, and also for spreading the word. May you have some successes already today, on which to build on!
Eva, I am convinced that the first thing a parent who is looking after a child with anorexia should read is your book. I say this for many reasons. You are the first one offering us real techniques about HOW to feed our children. You appeal to compassion, love and empathy. You gives us real tools and you remind us over and over how this is not our fault, how we are the only ones who can help better and at the same time you recognize that all depends on our individual family circumstances, the personality of our kids and that we should take from your book whatever is good for us or suits our specific circumstances.
You help us to feel good, or at least not as bad, and you recognize that although this is a heavy load it is not and should not be our whole life and the ONLY thing we should be doing.
You are generous and you share your story with us. And we can reach you! and that is amazing.
Thank you one more time.
And yes, I am thankful for all the other resources out there, Julie O´Toole's book and blog are great, also Carrie Arnold´s , Dr Raven´s and Laura Collins´ work is more than amazing. The 'dolphin' manual was very useful too. But your book should always be the first one.
Thank you Maria. This is precious to me.
Your book , journey and resources have been invaluable
Thank you for sharing
We are almost one year dealing with anorexia and our 15 yr old daughter
We just had a relapse so I am vowing to really work on compassion and empathy like never before!
It's really kind of you to give me that feedback. If it's not quite a year maybe it's not so much a relapse as a little bit of unfinished business. A bit more time for brain healing? Maybe a few fear foods or fearful situations that are still creating stresses? Either way, I'm sending you my wishes for you all to get through this one with great big helpings of compassion all round.
Dear Eva, I have read many books, articles and blogs. My book list recommendation will look just like yours, but I will add at the top of the list your book. Something parents MUST read before anything else. Thank you!
Just came upon your Bungee jump video that was posted on another site I visit called iceberg.ie.
What an amazingly great "voice" you have. I found the video so helpful and heve read as much as possible on your site. So enlightening. Really answered some of my questions. Our 18 year old is dealing with trying to claw her way out of anorexia. It's had her for the last 3 years, badly.
You need to get that book out !!!
Maybe you already have I will check, but I just want you to know I've learned more in the last hour with your website than I have from our twice weekly sessions with the therapist.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for your enthusiasm. I hope what you're learning here will help you heaps with your daughter, and I wish you both lots of hope and successes.
And how about letting your therapist know about this resource? It's good to have teamwork, plus, it may help other parents.
Do let me know, if you like, how you get on.
There's no way I'm not going to let her know. I've found it so helpful to find someone to come at this disorder from the parents side. I really can't thank you enough Eva.
Our daughter even thanked me tonight for being so understanding and patient. Result !!!
Woohoo! What wonderful feedback for you… and for me!
I found your website a few days ago, when I was at a very low ebb. It felt like my daughter's anorexia was winning the battle and after almost 3 years I had no strength left to fight it. In desperation I googled "How can you get an anorexic to eat?" and came up with your website. I can't thank you enough for your practical advice and tips, which made total sense to me, and allowed me to begin again with renewed purpose. I have found the bungee jumping analogy and the dialogue scripts particularly helpful, and my daughter has started eating again. It is so good to read advice from someone who knows exactly what we are going through. I have recommend your website to our family therapist and will be buying your book so that it is at hand whenever I need some more encouragement.
Wow, that is just wonderful. I am overjoyed. Thanks for telling me. And all my best wishes for new successes.
This is the most practical, easy to read and gut wrenchingly real book I have read regarding anorexia. I too see my beautiful daughter looking like a horror movie character and feel utterly terrified.
I have had opposing info from professionals and my confidence has been shattered. This book is empowering and needs to be published asap!! Thank you so much
I'm so glad you're finding this empowering, at a time of fear and confusion. I hope things start to look up and that you'll soon be getting your lovely daughter back.
Your feedback is spurring me on to get this book out as quickly as I can, thank you.